On Saturday, I attended a live stage play here in Las Vegas. The matinee show was fine. Good performances. Professional production. Decent seats. Affordable cost at $30 per ticket. Everything about the stage show delivered as promised. No complaints. In fact, if this article was a review, I’d give it a “thumbs up.” [See Footnote Below]
But something was very wrong. I was, in fact, miserable.
From the moment the lights went down and the curtain went up, I was bored from start to finish. I struggled to stay awake. It was torture to sit through the entire show.
Like an awkward romantic breakup, this is one of those “it’s not you, it’s me” feeble moments. No, it wasn’t the show’s fault. It was me.
Until now, I didn’t realize just how much I’ve changed my entertainment preferences and habits. I need not waste time listing the many stage shows I’ve attended, including live theatre. I even performed in several stage plays in high school and starred in my high school senior musical. I love drama. I love the theatre. I usually love live shows. I’ve seen so many shows, plays, concerts, and musicals, that I’ve lot count. Sure, I’ve walked out movies before, and even once walked out in the middle of a Hal Holbrook play, but I was never bored. Today, I was….bored.
I suspect COVID changed things for many of us. It certainly changed how we look at things. It may have even changed us. I’m sure it changed me. One of the reasons I write so frequently about movies is because since childhood I was always a devoted movie-goer. I always went to the movies — 40-60 movies a year, every year, for most of my life. But when that habit was interrupted and I began watching almost all movies (even new releases) at home, it’s now become difficult to muster up the enthusiasm to drive to the movies, battle for a parking spot, pay $15 for a ticket, sit for more than two hours, get annoyed with the non-stop talker sitting behind you or the kid brat rattling the candy wrapper, and be denied the glorious freedom of hitting the “pause” button or the unalienable American right of changing the channel. When it comes to entertainment and amusement, I’m a spoiled rotten libertarian on steroids.
This drastic transformation in the way I consume movies may also apply to other types of shows, including stage plays. This is merely an unproven presumption on my part. Today, I didn’t want to sit there. But I stayed, faithfully, of course. Marieta really wanted to see this show, and so the courteous and husban-dy Ward Cleaver thing to do was allow June to enjoy the show she picked out (surely, she’s sat through lots of the trash I like to watch and who knows how many football games I’ve tortured her with — such is marriage). I would never insist on leaving a show, unless she was also bored. She wasn’t bored. So, it was me. I think I said that already.
About 25 minutes into today’s stage play, I began fidgeting. Shifting in my chair. Crossing my legs. Pawing the arm rest. Can I rent a neck pillow? Several hours later, I snuck a peek at my watch, and then I realized only 42 minutes had elapsed. Thankfully, the theatre was dark and I could shut my eyes. But I didn’t want Marieta to notice. Fidgeting. Keeping time. Sleeping. All at once. But not getting caught. This requires great skill.
Suddenly, the curtains closed and the lights came up. Bravo! What a show!
Then, the announcer came on the loudspeaker and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a 15-minute intermission. Act 2 will resume at the bottom of the hour.”
Wait….what? A 15-minute intermission? An intermission? Then, another whole act?
Man, this is brutal. Help! Please tell me Act 2 includes a car chase. A shark attack. Jello wrestling. Something.
The entire show ran about 2 hours (with the intermission), pretty normal for stage shows. The second act was a bit shorter than the first, which is also typical. Thankfully, there was no Act 3. I’d rather referee a midget toss.
At least I was able to use that time darkness constructively, I suppose, playing a sort of imaginary mental game where I write a rough draft in my head while pondering the much broader question I first introduced.
So — has anyone else reading this gone through a recent transformation on patience (or lack thereof) for entertainment, and especially live shows? If so, is it age? Is it that many of us have changed beyond redemption? Perhaps we cant go back to the way things were before.
Comments welcome.
<Join the discussion on Facebook>
__________
Note: I’m not posting the name of the show I saw or the location because I don’t want this to negatively impact the venue or the performers. However, here’s the view from our seats today. Good seats. Good show. But……. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.