A DOZEN RANDOM THOUGHTS AND QUESTIONS:
(1) Why is it so easy to doze off laying on the sofa and all the lights turned on with the TV blasting, but when I lay down on a $3,000 tempurpedic mattress with two body pillows and a down comforter in a dark bedroom, I have trouble sleeping?
(2) Why do we keep potato mashers around since no one uses them anymore all they’re good for is getting the drawer stuck?
(3) How do 21-year-olds make it nowadays? When I graduated from college, I owed maybe two-grand, a beer cost $1.25, and I could have a fun night with a $20 bill. I didn’t know what a cell phone was, but I still stayed in touch with all my friends and knew every bit of gossip. Now, kids graduate with $150,000 in student debt, nightclubs cost $40 (if you can get in) where a tiny cocktail is $24, plus they’re paying $130 bucks a month for cell phone service while bitching their friends don’t call or text back quick enough.
(4) I don’t like talking babies in TV commercials. Talking babies aren’t funny. Talking babies creep me out.
(5) Gee, it’s so wonderful to see millions of people who have never once cared about a female sports event in their entire lives suddenly becoming so interested in women’s swimming.
(6) Here’s the history timeline of “bad guys” in the movies: Native-American Indians….Japanese….Germans…..Germans (played by actors with English accents)….Muslims. Coming next — Russians!
(7) That obnoxious commercial for crypto schlock with Lebron James and his “younger self” is the worst ad ever. Does anyone else have an idea what the hell that baller kid is trying to say in his first four lines? The kid mumbles his lines like he’s swallowing marbles. I’ve seen that spot 100 times and still can’t figure out what that teenager is saying.
(8] Wow. Who would have guessed being a catalytic converter dealer ends up being the best paying gig in America!
(9) Why are capitalists bitching about gas prices? I thought they believe in “free markets,” which means when supply goes down–prices go up. Funny, now they want the government to “do something.”
(10) After more than a decade of watching Rick and Chumlee shamelessly rip-off people at their pawn shop, why would anyone still go in there and expect to get a fair deal?
(11) Now that the Senate grilling of the Supreme Court nominee is over, now let’s see the browser histories of Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz. Wait. On second thought, I don’t want to see the browsing histories of Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz. Never mind! (oh, and did anyone get a comment from Matt Gaetz?)
(12) I hate self-service store scanners at grocery stores. Each time I need assistance, there’s no one around to help. But every time I (ahem) “accidentally” miscount the number of cookies in the bag, the store rep is standing over me like a hawk.