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Posted by on May 29, 2015 in Blog, General Poker, World Series of Poker | 0 comments

Rep Porter Humiliated in Colossus Event at 2015 WSOP

 

Rep_Porter

 

I wrote this satirical article on the experience of playing in a World Series of Poker tournament event with a huge field.

Poker pro Rep Porter outlasted 400 players in Colossus event at the 2015 WSOP, which means he finished in 15,612th place. Nice job, Rep!

 

Rep Porter, a two-time World Series of Poker gold bracelet winner, outlasted nearly 430 players on Friday afternoon in “The Colossus,” billed as the biggest poker tournament in history.  Given more than 22,000 players are expected to enter this mega-competition, that meant Porter could enjoy bragging rights for coming in 21,612th place.*

Porter never had an above-average stack of chips at any point in the tournament and would have gone largely unnoticed, had it not been for his early elimination and subsequent walk of shame, wallowing through nearly 2,000 players packed like sardines inside the bustling Pavilion Room, at the Rio Las Vegas.

When asked to explain the humiliation, Porter snapped, “What can I say?  I ran out of chips.  I didn’t want to leave.  But once I was out of chips, they wouldn’t deal me any more cards.”

Along the rail, Porter was welcomed by another former gold bracelet winner, licking his wounds and sharing his bad beat story with anyone in the surrounding area who would listen.  Ken Aldridge, a used car salesman from North Carolina, couldn’t even outlast Porter.

When asked to comment, Aldridge said, “I hope to make it past the first level next time.  I can’t believe Rep Porter finished higher than me in this event.  Please don’t tell anyone, okay?  That would look really bad if that were to get out.”

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