Payless Rent-a-Car Sucks!

Following a jam-packed five-hour flight over the long Thanksgiving weekend, a typical flight-during-the-holidays hell that was delayed more than four hours, this photo shows the display of horror I saw upon my arrival at Fort Lauderdale International Airport.  You’re looking at an empty service counter at 1:15 am.  Poof!  Where is everybody?

Hey, you ass jokers!  What happened to my advance reservation with the mickey mouse company no one either has ever heard of or uses called– “Payless Rent-a-Car?”

Pay less, my ass.  No wonder the customer pays less.  A company can give you a phony fish hook price when they fail to hire a single employee to work the night shift.

So — whatever happened to my “full-size cruiser.”  You know the one I was promised over the Internet for the steal price of $208 a week, including taxes and fees?  The car I checked when I hit “confirm” and agreed to a long list of terms and conditions.

I’ll tell you what happened.  I’ll tell you exactly what happened.

They fucked me, that’s what happened.  Really good.  Bait and switch.  They walked off the job.  I had a better chance of beating a Three-Card Monte game in Times Square than getting the price was supposedly was guaranteed.  They sure as hell “left the light on” for me.  Trouble was, there wasn’t a human hand around to do complete paperwork and get me into my rental car.

Payless Rent-a-Car lied to me!

This wouldn’t be such a big deal except that every other counter in the rental car center was open, even on the graveyard shift.  Hertz was open.  Budget was open.  Alamo was open.  Dollar was open.  Enterprise was open.  National was open.  Fuck, even Fox Rental Car was open and they had two live agents!  Fucking Fox!

That’s when you know you’ve hit rock bottom when Fox Rental Car is taking your business and getting fewer complaints on Trip Advisor.  Fox is for losers!  What does that make Payless?

So, what did I do instead?  I forked off an additional $15o out of my own pocket for an on-the-spot, rip-off-the-latecomer special from one of the competitors.  My $208 rental car ended up costing a whopping $358 — plus a 20-minute wait in line behind people that smelled.

Thanks, Payless!

Here, look at their sign.  Looks what it says!

Lies!

Cars available?

No, they’re fucking not!

Cars are most certainly not available!  And if they are available, no one is around to get you into a car!

But the real prick tease was the lack of a sign at the counter.  No “CLOSED” sign.  No “WE’LL BE BACK IN 15 MINUTES” notice.  No “BOOK WITH ALAMO NEXT TIME, IDIOT” sign.  Nothing.  Oh, but they do leave the light on at the counter to make it look like they’re open.  Like I said – PRICK TEASERS!

Let me give you all some sound advice.  Listen to me……

Do not — I repeat DO NOT — make a reservation with Payless Rent-a-Car!

If you make an online reservation, you are rolling dice with your business or vacation plans.  You better hold your breath if you land after midnight.  You have no idea if an agent will be sleeping on the job, back in the office jacking off, or on duty.  Seriously, there is no way to tell.

How would you like to make a reservation and think you got a steal of a deal for $208 only to see the deserted customer service counter.  They didn’t even leave me a note.  There was no courtesy phone.  No sign.  Nothing!  Except for a big sign that says “CARS AVAILABLE.”  I asked the agent at the next counter over and he just laughed.

“Happens all the time,” he said.  “Now, let me help you — I can give you a full-size car for just $150 more.”

Fuck Payless Rent-a-Car!

Payless Rent-a-Car sucks!

Do NOT use Payless Rent-a-Car!

Note:  I tried to leave this review on Trip Advisor, but it was rejected.  Up Next:  My review of Trip Advisor.