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Posted by on May 26, 2013 in Blog, Travel | 1 comment

New Orleans Short Stories (4): Never Ass-ume Anything



There’s more than one donkey in New Orleans


Short Story #4:  Never Ass-ume Anything

This story is embarrassing.

At the New Orleans airport waiting to fly home today, I was ready for boarding.  I had a 45-minute wait.  The seating area was nearly full.

Looking for an empty chair, I approached a young man who was already seated.  He was probably 20 or so.

As a matter of politeness, I asked the young man if the seat next to him was taken.

He completely ignored me.  He wouldn’t even look up.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

The kid completely ignored me.

My blood pressure started to rise.  Who was this little shit?  And why was he ignoring me?

One more time.

“Uhhhhhhh, excuse me man, I’m going to sit here if you don’t mind.”

With that comment I took the vacant seat.  The kid finally looked up at me for a second and then went back to burying his face in his smart phone.

For the next ten minutes I sat there and stewed like a fried onion.

Little shit.  Why was he so rude?  No manners.  No social graces.  Punk can’t even acknowledge the politeness of a stranger.  Time for that line from “Bye Bye Birdie” — What’s the matter with kids too-day?

The young man glanced over a few times, I suppose sensing my disgust.  On both occasions I gave him one of those “you piece of shit” looks.  The little ass joker was rude to me.  So, he’s not getting any respect in return.  Not from me.  No way.  No respect.

Moments later, young woman walked up.  She was about his same age.  She tapped him on the shoulder and then began doing sign language.  The young man responded with several hand signs that made it obvious the couple was deaf.

I felt like a worm.  Worse than a worm.  What’s lower and worse than a worm?  Whatever it is, that’s the way I felt.

I just sat there.

Shaking my head.

In shame.

Then, I started laughing, for no apparent reason at all.

Payback would be a bitch.  And it would happen on the flight I was about to board.


COMING NEXT:  “Junk Science”

1 Comment

  1. This story reminds me of when I first moved to New Orleans. I went grocery shopping, and not being use to having to place my own food in the plastic bags and her telling me I needed to do so, I just stood there, smiling. So, I though I would teach this girl a thing or two about being rude. So when she finished ringing up my bill, I signed “thank you”. She immediately started putting my things in the bad. I laughed so hard when I got in my car. Thanks for the memories.

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