I wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse today. This is a cowboy food joint that opened up a restaurant on St. Rose Parkway, here in Las Vegas.
But first, a little history is in order.
Wagonwheel steakhouses (that’s my term) are very common all across America, but they’re not as popular here in Las Vegas. Lots of reasons for this, mainly because there are a huge number of upscale steakhouses attached to casinos, so these informal retail dining establishments struggle. When I used to spend about half of my time traveling around the United States, I always enjoyed dining out at local restaurants and trying new places. About ten years ago, I tried the “Texas Roadhouse” in Shreveport. It was my first experience there.
Well, from the moment I sat down those buttery Parker House Rolls blew my dick off. I have a thing for Parker House rolls. They are my crack of bread.
Remember those delicious buttery Parker House Rolls? Anyone else remember the gravely voice of Howard Cosell on Monday Night Football introducing the weekly halftime highlights?
“These halllllftime hiiiiighlights ahhhhhhh brought to you by PaaaHHHHHHHkaaaaHHHHHouse Roooooollls.”
Pure symphony.
I digress. So, the Texas Roadhouse opened on the far south end of town and I live on the other side of the city, at least 35 minutes away. But where else can I get those PaaaHHHHHHHkaaaaHHHHHouse Roooooollls?
Texas Fucking Roadhouse, that’s where!
With ferries dressed in ribeyes and a giant baked potato loaded with real butter dancing across my brain, Marieta and I barrelled down the highway to St. Rose and the Texas Roadhouse. Bring the Parker House Rolls, and make it snappy!
We get there, and Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttt!
Well, fuck me! Texas Roadhouse is closed!
I just snapped this picture of the parking lot.
Remember National Lampoon’s Vacation and the closing scene with Chevy Chase? Well, this is my “Wally World” moment.
