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Posted by on Jan 23, 2020 in Blog, Essays, Politics | 1 comment

I Just Sent a “Contribution” to the Republican National Committee

 

Republican National Committee

 

I dropped this envelope in today’s mail. Yeah, Trump — I got your “contribution” right here.

Whatever flunky Trump toad opens the envelope is in for one helluva’ surprise.

Here’s the Backstory: I presume it’s social media pranksters who sign me up for pro-Trump fundraising and other Republican schemes. I get this kinda’ shit all the time. Usually, this junk mail goes straight to the trash can. But since I was personally invited to become a member of the “President’s Advisory Board” — for a FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTION, of course — well, I had to read the offer.

The RNC sent me a survey, with laughably loaded questions. Survey questions like “Do you believe the Democrats’ impeachment proceedings against President Trump, who was duly elected by the people and has made America great again, is a politically-driven witch hunt?” You get the idea.

I had the option of joining the “President’s Advisory Board” at various levels of commitment. $25 makes me an “Associate Member.” $50 makes me something higher. $75 is the next step. $100 gets me “Inner Circle” status. For $500 or more, my name gets personally seen by the president who will write me a personal “thank you” (done with autopen, no doubt). It all sounds like a giant casino rewards program. All that’s missing is $15 in free slot play and the 2 for 1 buffet coupon.

Well, I had my own idea of a contribution. I’ll just leave it at that. Nothing dangerous or illegal, mind you. But, I want to make sure the Trump Republican fundraisers know that I took their solicitation very seriously. The “$100” handwritten on the outside of the envelope should ensure it’s opened and read by an actual Trumpster.

Please, RNC — send me more surveys and offers. I’ve got plenty more “contributions” to make.

__________

 

1 Comment

  1. What’s in the envelope????

    I’m saying this sort of like the scene in the movie Seven, “what’s in the box”?

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