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Posted by on Jul 6, 2014 in Blog, Politics | 2 comments

“Georgia On My Mind….Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!”

 

mgeorgiastate

 

Georgia should change its official nickname to “The Vigilante State.”

Think of how exciting all those sleepy magnolia-canopied streets are about to become with law and order — Dirty Harry style.

Out of my way, you punk!  Bam!

 

Earlier this week, a new law went into effect where it’s now legal to openly carry a firearm in Georgia.  Now, any licensed gun owner can bring a loaded weapon into a business — provided that the establishment agrees to let them inside.  Seriously, that’s the way the law is written.  Which now makes me wonder — what business owner is going to turn away a customer packing heat?

Imagine this exchange — Go away, Sir.  We don’t want you or your gun in here.

Click….kaboom!

This even goes for bars and churches.  That’s right — BARS and CHURCHES.  This isn’t some frontier justice law enacted in 1814.  This is now state law in the year 2014.

Just.  Fucking.  Wow.

Apparently, many of our citizens are convinced there aren’t nearly enough guns floating around in this country, especially in parts of the South.  They say we need more guns.  A shitload more guns, especially out in the open.  We need more loaded firearms within reach of anyone who’s able to pull a trigger, especially in places with crowds.

It’s madness.

Guns in bars?  What could possibly go wrong there?  Hey bartender, this round make mine a double and turn the channel to SportsCenter before I fill your ass full of lead.

Guns in churches?  That’s even more poetic.  Blast a sinner for Jesus.  Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.  Hell, bring back the crusades!

On second thought, maybe guns in churches idea aren’t such a bad idea, after all.  That might give the pedophile priest scandals a new twist.

Touch me again Father and I’ll blow your dick off.

Wait.  There’s more — as in more madness.  This bizarre new law also gives gun owners the right to carry weapons into “unsecured government buildings,” including libraries or city halls, without anyone’s approval.

That makes me feel extra safe.  Hey, you never know when you might get mugged inside a library.  Now, you can pull out a piece and defend yourself.  Hi honey, I’m headed off to the library.  Did you see my library card?  Oh, and please hand me my Glock 9mm while you’re at it, the one with the full clip.

As for City Halls, that’s one creative way to increase the turnout for the next Planning and Zoning Commission meeting.  Why not turn the joint into a giant shooting gallery and sell cotton candy?  Let’s make it extra fun.  Whoever plugs the mayor gets the biggest stuffed animal.

Of course, with guns so now out in the open, it took just half a day for the first serious incident to happen.  On the first day of the new “guns everywhere” bill some yokel walked into a convenience store wearing a holster.  Gulp!  That’s right, a fucking holster!  Apparently, he’d been watching re-runs of Gunsmoke and now wants to be the town sheriff.  Anyway, Yokel #1 ran into Yokel #2, who was also wearing — you got it — a holster.  Both men with holsters strapped to their thighs were also brandishing loaded firearms.  Pinch me and tell me what year this is again?  Who could possibly suspect that a trip to the 7-11 would become a potential shootout?

Yokel #1 said something perceived as rude by Yokel #2.  Because that’s what happens when yokels go outside and run into other yokels.  Pretty soon, it’s a Deliverance reunion.  So, that’s when the guns came out of the holsters and things suddenly got interesting, unless you happened to be in the 7-11 and had to dive under the donut bin and take cover.  Some profanities were exchanged, but before either of these two proud defenders of the Second Amendment could get off a clean shot, one of the men exited the store and ran away.  Presumably next time, he’ll bring in more firepower.

Naturally, the passage of this insane law is creating some unintentionally funny scenarios.

True story #1 — More than 500 librarians in Atlanta met to discuss the law and adhere to compliance.  However, the meeting turned into a Saturday Night Live skit when someone asked — what happens if a licensed gun owner enters the library packing heat, decides that his holster is too heavy, takes it off, and leaves it around in the presence of young children?  Can the library ask him to leave?  Seriously, this was being debated.

True story #2 — Apparently, there’s a severe penalty for bringing a loaded gun into a business that forbids it.  If you’re caught bringing a firearm into an establishment that clearly posts a warning that guns aren’t allowed, you can be fined up to one-hundred dollars.  That will certainly deter them.

True Story #3 —  Another directive came out at the world’s largest airport, Atlanta’s Hartsfield.  Apparently, it’s completely legal for gun owners to bring their firearms into the airport.  They can even go so far as any TSA checkpoint.  Next time daddy goes on a business trip, first he kisses mommy and then the kids.  But don’t forget to hand over his rifle before boarding the plane.  Communist feds.

True Story #4 — Finally, there’s the incredible story of the TBonz Steakhouse, a popular hangout in Augusta, GA.  The upscale dining establishment initially posted a sign out front that forbids patrons from bringing in firearms.

“We didn’t want you to come in, get drunk and shoot up the place,” the restaurant owner told the Wall Street Journal.  Next, the gun nuts heard about the ban and went ballistic.  They began blasting the privately owned business on social media, even threatening a boycott.  That caused the owners of TBonz Steakhouse to take down the sign.

“We heard from our customers,” the owner said.

Guns will now be allowed in the restaurant.

I feel so much safer now.

2 Comments

  1. Damn two posts and two comments from me! I knew you hated guns you liberal jack wagon! Do a little research on gun owners, particularly LICENCED gun owners, before you make anymore of an ass of yourself! Do you just write whatever comes to mind and not do any research? Really? Come on man you’re better than that! Even for a bleeding heart you’re better. All I ask is a little research. It’s not hard!

    Bam! Bam! Bam! Ha! Ha! Ha! THAT will never happen from a licensed owner!

  2. Another idiotic post about gun owners. Carrying a gun does not make you a criminal or a murderer which is essentially what you implied in the imaginary encounter between an employee and a man openly exercising his second amendment right.

    The vast majority of gun owners are law abiding and peaceful people. They carry their guns because there are those who do not abide by the law and are not peaceful. Those people tend to not openly carry their guns or get the permit to conceal their guns because they cannot lawfully own them to begin with. A person openly carrying his firearm is the very last person anyone needs to worry about.

    That being said, I tend to favor liberal positions on most issues. However, I don’t feel the need to place myself in the little box that major politicians and the media have created and labeled, “here is what it means to be liberal” or “here is what it means to be conservative”. All of your articles that relate to guns show an amazing lack of knowledge about guns, the issue of guns, gun owners, and the reason and importance of the second amendment. They seem to have all originated from that little box. I used to be the very same way but through time I found out I was wrong. I began to understand the innate right of self defense and how exercising that right is only effective if you can meet force with equal or greater force. I also began to understand the very intent of the second amendment was to give us, the people of the United States, a means to preserve and protect the rest of the Bill of Rights. That used to sound silly to me. We are so advanced now, times are different, there is no way OUR government could ever become tyrannical! The Germans said the same thing and it is very possible. The other part that sounded silly was the idea that we would have a chance against our military should we ever need to rise up and overthrow the government. The Iraqi insurgents and the Viet Cong did a fairly damn good job of it. Not to mention if the need ever did arise much of the military would side with the people. Don’t discount the possibility of another American revolution. It is very unlikely but possible nevertheless. What would an unarmed and servile population do if it ever happened?

    My point is that there is a lot to think about when it comes to guns and the second amendment. Thinking that it appears you simply haven’t done. It appears that you have only reacted emotionally to tragedies and one sided reporting instead of truly investigating and adopting a logical position.

    Our right to self defense is about as close to a sacred right that we can get and we have a right to choose what tool we feel most comfortable with in order to exercise that right should the need arise. As well as the most effective tool.

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