Presumably, there will be more instances of gender confusion in our society, including misidentifying people in public. So, what do we do when that happens?
Something embarrassing happened today. And now, I’m at a loss for words. I’m uncertain as to what, if anything, would have been the proper remark or response in such a situation. Accordingly, I welcome constructive comments.
This afternoon, I went into a Las Vegas car repair shop to pick up a vehicle that had been serviced. I wasn’t paying particular attention to the person who was printing up my invoice and giving me the rundown on what had been done and what services were recommended. The attendant was somewhat heavy set, with a baseball cap turned backward, and was a person of color. While I fumbled for my credit card to pay, the person asked me a question and I instinctively replied “Yes, Sir.” That’s when I noticed something was wrong. I saw the person was annoyed but said nothing in return. Then, I saw the “Sir” was a female. The person was transgender.
When caught off guard in situations like that, there’s an awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say. Should I correct myself? Should I apologize? And if so, what exactly does one say?
The female attendant closed out my bill but the tone had changed. I waited another 90 seconds or so, but the time seemed much longer than that. When done, I just said “thank you,” and walked away.
Obviously, the last thing I intended was to make someone feel uncomfortable or behave insensitively. But I remain perplexed as to what’s the proper response, if any?
Presumably, there will be more instances of gender confusion in our society, including misidentifying people in public. With more transgender people working with the public, these situations are bound to become more frequent, even when it’s an innocent mistake. I suspect it’s difficult for some people to put up with insensitivity and ignorance, but there are inevitably going to be more confusing moments like that.
Has this sort of thing ever happened to anyone else and if so, what do you think is the right thing to do? I hope others might find this interesting and we come to some consensus. Obviously, I would really welcome input from my transgender friends.
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