TRUMPS ‘”SPIRITUAL ADVISOR” SHARES HER THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS
Wrapped in a fresh new facelift that resembles frantically trying to stretch a queen-size fitted sheet over a king-size mattress while karate-chopping the tuck into a hopelessly stuffed crevice, here is Trump’s own personal “spiritual advisor” comparing him to the Lordy Jesus Christ on this holy (shit!) Easter Bunny Sunday.
Meanwhile, in his own early morning social media post likely made from the epicenter of Western Civilization — the White House bedroom toilet — her cult mob boss threatened to murder millions of innocent men, women, children, pets, and goldfish…..dropped the fuck-bomb….and slandered 1.3 billion Muslims.
Ho hum….just another Sunday morning in the Divided States of Madness in 2026.
The giddy Christian Nationalist crackpot (see video of her “sermon” in the comments section, if you can bear to watch without screaming into a pillow) falsely asserted that Trump attends church services three times a week — which is a laughable assertion. In a painfully awkward Fox News segment, the prosperity gospel grifter….err uhh preacher Paula White stated:
“First off, to give honor to God and to President Trump for being bold and unwavering with his faith.”
When asked specifically about how he demonstrates his faith in this so-called “holy day,” demon vixen said:
“He (goes to church) sometimes three times a week … Saturday school, Sunday school, church. Church has been a big part of his life.”
Huh ???
Trump’s “faith advisor” also has quite a resume. For the record:
Paula White bolted the love nest on her first husband….then shit-canned her second hubby after cheating on him repeatedly….then she met and married a rich rock star….then she stole money from that husband’s bank account and embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars while scamming her idiot Christian fundamentalist followers in a giant Ponzi scheme.
Wait, there’s more!
Next….she ripped off nearly a million dollars from her “ministry” to pay for her private oceanfront mansion in Florida…then she skimmed over a million dollars in salaries to her family members….and then paid for her own private jet. Eventually, the church money ran out. She ran out of religious dopes to screw over.
Incredibly, after bankrupting that church (called Without Walls International), she was charged with stealing $600,000 in audio-visual equipment from the old ministry, while the creditors (mostly small businesses) got stiffed when the church music stopped and they were left holding a bag of dicks.
But wait! There’s still more!
Trump’s spiritual advisor wasn’t finished with her grifting. While she was senior pastor at the next church of the holy suckers, a ploy designed to erase her past and avoid $29 million in old debts and lawsuits, that church filed for Chapter 11 federal bankruptcy protection–another one of God’s “miracles” of vanishing money since her ministries reportedly raked in $150 million in tithe donations yet somehow ended up dead fucking broke, despite being tax-exempt!
Then, while still married to one of her brood of husbands, White became embroiled in yet another scandal when she was photographed coming out of a hotel room holding hands with an evangelical tele-preacher named Benny Hinn. Faith o’ flesh my Lord! A “Bible study” meeting, no doubt—-punctuated by screams of “Oh my God!….harder!….faster!”
Paula White is a believer in the farce known as the “prosperity gospel” translated which means that her God loves and blesses rich people. She’s praised quacks and despots, once referring to the Korean madman Sun Myung Moon (the crazed dead leader of the “Moonies”) as “a jewel from God.”
She’s the perfect Trump con skunk.
Praise Jesus!
White has warned warned that “Christians that don’t support President Trump will have to answer to God.”