Why is it such a big deal when a celebrity or athlete (excuse the expression) “comes out of the closet?”
Why is this still somehow regarded as newsworthy? Does the media create these sensations? Or, are some people needlessly calling attention to themselves?
I think these are fair questions.
As for those who feel compelled to parade in front of cameras and make self-declarations about being gay, I ask — why? Isn’t the whole idea of equality to blend in and be treated like everyone else? If so, then start acting like everyone else.
So, what merits all the special attention? Why would someone’s sexual orientation even matter? Would a straight person come out and announce to the world, “I’m straight?” Of course not. So, quit spotlighting something which supposedly makes you different. We get it. We understand. We support you. And one more thing — we don’t care.
I’ve posed these questions to gay friends. While each provided a different explanation, the one prevailing opinion shared by everyone is that the decision to come out and live openly as a gay person remains a difficult choice for many. However, as more and more people do “come out,” especially those in the public arena, that instills courage for others to do the same. In short, these public media-driven declarations provide inspiration for all people to be themselves.
Fair enough.
But I still don’t know why it’s necessary to make a big deal out of this. Especially in this day and age. I suspect it might even be counterproductive. Calling attention to yourself due entirely to sexual orientation seems to defeat the whole purpose of fighting for acceptance. So long as people feel the need to declare their sexual orientation to the rest of the world (who frankly, aren’t entitled to know anything about the private lives of others), then that’s a de facto admission that being gay isn’t normal. Almost, but not quite. They’re somehow different. After all, they’re calling press conferences and making spectacles.
Seriously. Why must the public’s curiosity be fed? And what does that say about those doing all the gossiping, wanting to know if such and such person is gay? What fucking business is it of yours, or anyone else’s? How about worrying about your own issues before dissecting the lifestyles of others. Try that on for size.
Most everyone I know is liberal on gay rights. In fact, I have difficulty respecting someone who doesn’t support equality for all people. For me, it’s just one of those litmus test issues that defines a person’s character. You either believe in civil rights for everyone, or you don’t believe in civil rights at all. There’s no middle ground here. You can’t be partially pregnant on the “pursuit of happiness” part of the U.S. Constitution.
Even most of the conservatives I know support gay rights. Strongly so. Okay, so they’re really Libertarians. While this subset of opinion isn’t truly representative of American conservatism at large, I do believe it’s evidence our nation is headed in the right direction. No one under age 35 looks upon being gay as a stigma anymore. For some people, it’s downright cool to be gay and is especially embraced in certain fields. Indeed, we’ve come a marvelously long way in the last generation. [SEE FOOTNOTE BELOW]
But that doesn’t mean the struggle is over. So, let’s return again to the question about “coming out.” Let’s debate whether it’s really necessary, or even constructive to the cause.
My gut instinct tells me it’s not. Perhaps it was at one time, like in the Elton John or Billie Jean King days. But now, public announcements like this seem to annoy rather than inspire people in the mainstream. Then, there’s the paparazzi element which always seems to make a circus out of what for some is a deeply personal decision. Why must the private lives of people be turned into a soap opera?
Within just the last year, we’ve had an NBA player come out. A major network news reporter came out. A number of actors and musicians have come out. And there have been rumors about everyone from star NFL quarterbacks to politicians being gay.
What’s the obsession? Why is it anyone’s business who someone sleeps with? And for those asking these questions and wondering — whether its the media or the public starved for gossip — why do you care?
This isn’t news anymore. So, let’s move on.
READ: Tipping Point on Gay Rights
Here’s the deal: Some men like women. Some men like men. Some men like both. Some women like men. Some women like women. Some women like both. No one should be compelled to pick a team. This isn’t the NFL draft.
What do you think? Is “coming out” really necessary anymore? Is it productive or counterproductive to the cause?
FOOTNOTE: It may surprise some outsiders who aren’t familiar with the poker community, but support for gay rights seems considerably higher in this subculture than in the mainstream. My view: Even older poker players tend to support gay rights. I think this empathy comes from poker players being out of the mainstream ourselves for many years. Like gays, we had to hide what we did and who we were from others. Playing poker was illegal in many places, and still is. So, we came to identify with other groups of people who were denied their basic rights as individuals.
READ: Follow-Up in Part 2