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Posted by on Aug 30, 2012 in Blog, Essays | 1 comment

Best Tips for Winning at the Casino Slot Machines

 

 

Best Tips for Winning at the Casino Slot Machines

Slot machines are the most popular machines in almost every casino. There are good reasons why so many of these bright, colorful and noisy machines dominate the casino floor. Slot machines easily attract and hold the interest of players promising winnings without having to spend a lot of money or expend a lot of effort. More often than not, a slot machine will take a player’s money far more often than it pays out.

What most casino visitors don’t realize is that it is possible to win money when they play slots both in the casino and online. Here are some tips that can help you increase your chances of winning the next time you spin the wheels on a one-armed bandit!

Do a little research

Before you put your money into any slot machine, research the payout percentages for both the casino and the various slot machines. This information isn’t likely to be listed on the machine itself. However, you may be able to find it online on multiple websites made just for gambling enthusiasts who want to know what the RTP or Return to Player or payout percentages. Depending on where you play, most casinos have an RTP percentage of between 80% and 98%.

Know your limits

Decide on the amount of money you are willing to risk at the casino and stick to it. A good piece of advice is only to bet as much as what you can afford to lose. If you’ve traveled to a place like Las Vegas, for example, and are going to be staying for several days, divide the money that you can spend equally for each day and stick to it. Another good way to keep from spending too much on the casino floor is to bring a friend along with you.

During those times that you do win, spend only what you originally invested in your initial bankroll and keep your winnings separate. If you just aren’t hitting it on a particular night, walk away and come back again at another time.

Take advantage of a casino’s club offerings

Most casinos will offer additional benefits like additional bonus money, discounts on shows, dining and hotel room bookings if you sign up for their club. The casino will give club members a card that can be inserted into or scanned by the slot machine. How much in terms of play bonuses you receive depends on the number of coins that are wagered.

Choose machines with smaller jackpots

It’s easy to be lured by the promise of big money advertised on the side of some slot machines. What casinos won’t tell their visitors is that while they may shine a spotlight on or even post a beautiful hostess next to these big money machines, they also pay out far less frequently. By sticking to slot machines with lower jackpots, you substantially increase your chance of winning.

Choose your slot machine wisely

Casino owners want those who are standing outside their establishments to see and hear players inside winning. To achieve this, casinos will often place slot machines that payout is most frequently closer to entrances or other areas of the casino with the high visitor traffic.

Another tip for players is to choose machines with actual reels that spin rather than video or virtual spinning action. While both types of machines use an RNG or Random Number Generation System, according to research, video machines do tend to pay out less often and can payout 5% less than classic mechanical slot machines do.

It can pay not to be timid with your wagers

It’s tempting to start playing the slots by betting only in the smallest increments possible. What many slot players don’t realize is that while they think they are extending the amount of time that they can play by being conservative with their bets, they are lessening their chances of winning. By choosing the max wager option on a slot machine, you can increase your chances of winning on both progressive and non-progressive machines.

What About Video Poker?

Among the slot machines, casinos will often offer games of video poker. Like slots, casino goers can relax while they sit and play. To win at video poker, however, it’s a good idea to actually know how the game is played. Casino and gambling experts agree that it’s a good idea that players only choose to play these machines if they are good at the game.

Play just for the fun of it! –A visitor may come to the casino with the idea that this time they are going to hit it big only to walk away with nothing to show for it. Casinos and gambling operations manage to stay in the black and keep the lights on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from the winnings that those types of players leave behind. The most important thing to remember before visiting either playing slots online or visiting an actual casino is to remember that it’s supposed to be about having fun. By using the tips above and employing a little strategy before playing the slots, if you do happen to hit the jackpot, it will make it far more likely that you’ll walk away from a winner.

__________

 

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Posted by on Aug 29, 2012 in Blog, Essays, Politics | 11 comments

Our Leaders are Elected by Morons (a.k.a. “The Undecideds”)

 

Idiot American Voters

 

Our national leaders are elected by morons.  They are called “the undecideds.”

There, I said it.  Because it’s true.

Since the dawn of the television age, every election has been decided by idiots.

No matter what year, no matter which election, no matter who the candidates are — the voter breakdown always follows the same pattern.  About 45 percent of voters vote for the Republican candidates.  About 45 percent of voters vote for the Democratic candidates.  That leaves 10 percent of voters in the middle who call themselves — “undecided.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most powerful voting block in America — the 10 percent of voters who don’t know and don’t care.  These are the rubes deciding the future of our nation.

Let’s meet them, shall we?

Undecideds are everywhere.

Inside bowling alleys.  Blathering on barstools.  Playing on softball fields.  Ordering hamburgers.  Driving in the far right-hand lane and not making the right turn at busy intersections.  Delaying the TSA checkpoint.  Shopping at Walmart.  They come in all shapes and sizes and colors and ages.

Undecideds are usually easy to identify.  The lack any guiding political philosophy.  They don’t read books.  They don’t read newspapers.  They don’t watch news shows.  They can’t be bothered with complex details about any issue, because “it’s boring.”

Occasionally, news does manage to penetrate their skulls, so long as it airs on Entertainment Tonight or SportsCenter or there’s some scandal attached to it.  Then, they’re certain to have an opinion.  They know more about the life of a moviestar or the starting quarterback of their favorite football team than anyone who holds elected office.  They don’t spend a second thinking about issues, but they have an opinion on just about everything.  Just ask them.

They’re the first to start chanting “U-S-A!  U-S-A!” whenever an American athlete competes against someone from another country.  They’re the first to gloat, “America is the greatest country in the world,” even though they’ve never actually traveled overseas.  They’re the first to attack anyone who dares to question the conventional view of America’s role in the world, equivocating dissent with treason.  They think of themselves as the true patriots, even though they probably can’t name their local congressman.

In reality, they’re phonies and frauds.  And, they’re dangerous.

I have a message for all those undecideds who lack political conviction and who are void of anything that could possibly be construed as a personal philosophy.  Listen carefully.  My message is this:

DON’T VOTE!

I swear.  I will have more respect for you for sitting out another election than pretending that you really care for 5 minutes.  If you can’t spend as much time thinking about the future of your country as deciding what you’re going to order off Olive Garden lunch menu, we don’t need you cluttering up the lines on election day and diluting the end results with your indifference.

I hate voter registration drives.  No wait, that’s not strong enough.  I despise them.  I want them STOPPED.

This time of year, registration drives are everywhere to try and motivate people to get out and vote.  My question is — WHY?

Why should we encourage people with absolutely no knowledge of issues and an utter lack of interest in civic affairs to suddenly enter a voting booth and starting checking boxes of candidates they know nothing about?  It’s like begging a 5-year old to show up on November 9th and be an air traffic controller for a day.

Please, someone, explain this to me.

Why are volunteers out there parading around in parking lots with clipboards begging disinterested people to register and vote when these people obviously lack any desire to exercise their civic responsibilities?  These people haven’t bothered to vote in recent years (otherwise, their registration would automatically be renewed).  Moreover, all prospective new voters (such as those who turn 18, or move in-state for the first time) are given the option to register to vote when they obtain a driver’s license.

It all comes down to this:  The vast majority of unregistered voters haven’t been motivated enough to get involved politically in the past.  So, why do we now want them to barge into the current election cycle and cast ballots based on no knowledge whatsoever about the issues or the candidates?

Do we really want these blathering undecideds stepping into the voting booth and canceling out the INFORMED votes of people who are already registered and take elections seriously?  What kinds of decisions are these kinds of people going to make?  I’ll tell you.  They would likely make some very bad decisions and for all the wrong reasons.  They’re more likely to vote for or against a candidate based on they way they look, the ethnicity of their heritage, or who had the best TV commercial.

This isn’t about partisanship.  Even those I disagree with politically are, at least, engaged in the process and can articulate why they support their candidate.  I respect that.  But do you honestly think some buffoon who’s been coaxed into registering in a grocery store parking lot and who don’t follow current affairs, is going to make an informed decision?

Hell no.

He’s likely to vote based on which television commercial he enjoyed most, which candidate amused him, or something his buddy said in a bar after gulping down his seventh beer.

He’s going to make a presidential pick based on the candidate he’d “most like to have a beer with.”Idiot American Voter

The powers that be know how the game is played.  They know the secret to winning elections.  They know that, in order to win, they must reduce themselves, the political process, and the entire nation to the lowest common denominator.

What does this mean — the lowest common denominator?

Let’s say there’s a stadium full of people.  Someone gets on the loudspeaker and announces that everyone has just won a free dinner.  The only stipulation is — everyone in the stadium must agree on what’s to be served.

A vote is taken.  Thousands vote for steak.  Thousands vote for salmon.  Thousands vote for lobster.  The bottom line is, no one can agree on anything.  So, the meal comes down to a vote where finally, there are no objections, and the lowest common denominator prevails.  The verdict?  Everyone ends up eating beans and hot dogs.

That’s what political campaigns have come down to — beans and hot dogs in a voting booth — trying to appeal to and appease that last sliver of the indifferent, who might actually be motivated enough to get off their lazy asses and go out and pull the lever for their candidate.

These are the people who will decide our future.  The undecideds.

If after all the shit we’ve been through the last two years, you’re still “undecided”…..then please:

DON’T VOTE.  STAY HOME.

__________

 

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Posted by on Aug 23, 2012 in Blog, Book Reviews, Essays | 2 comments

Remembering “Doctor Love” — Leo Buscaglia

 

Dr. Love Photo

 

I chose to define courage differently than most.

To many, courage is associated with conflict.  The most obvious example of conflict occurs with war.  Sometimes brave acts are performed by extraordinary people in the most trying of circumstances which, no doubt, merits the badge of courage.

But courage is manifested in other ways, as well.  In more everyday settings, not by brave soldiers, but by common people.  By us and people like us.

Alas, we all have the capacity to perform courageous acts and be courageous.  Our challenge is to avoid taking the easy road in life and pursuing the paths of greatest resistance.  To do the things that are the most difficult.  To stand for the things that are least popular.  To fight for the things that are noble and good.

Indeed, courage can manifest itself in much simpler ways.  It need not be a grandiose undertaking.  It need not be associated with parades of publicity.  Rather, some of the most meaningful acts of courage begin with a simple spoken word, a phone call, a smile, or a touch.  Which is not to say these simple acts of kindness are easy.  Some are painstakingly difficult.  Which is what makes them courageous.

The man I’m writing about today spoke, wrote, and lived with passion.  Sadly, he  is no longer with us.  But his many inspirational thoughts and ideas remain with us.  They have become his legacy.  They were his gift to us.  One of the most profound things he wrote was the following:

“It’s not enough to have lived.  We should be determined to live for something.  May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.”

What a beautiful idea.

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Posted by on Aug 20, 2012 in Blog, Essays, Personal | 2 comments

Pet Sounds

 

Nolan Dalla Cat

Alex — Our 11-year-old stray adopted from a shelter in Washington, DC

 

A few years ago, a famous Italian winemaker came to the United States on a mission.  He was determined to open up a new restaurant in the Seattle area.

The winemaker and aspiring restauranteur was in the process of hiring his staff.  While conducting job interviews with each applicant, he made it a point to pose one rather unusual question to each of his prospective employees.  It didn’t matter if the position was for manager, cook ,waiter, or dishwasher.  The question was always asked.

“Do you own any pets?”

Pets?  This seemed like a very strange question.  Especially for a job interview at a restaurant.  After all, the applicants weren’t applying for jobs in a pet store.

But the winemaker had his personal reasons for posing such a seemingly oddball question.  Immediately after asking about their pets, he watched the eyes and monitored the expressions of all those who were sitting across the table, eagerly hoping to be part of his new restaurant.  He listened carefully to the way each applicant spoke about their pets.  Were they excited?  Were there expressions of love in their voices?  For those who did not own a pet, was there a desire to get one someday?  For those who no longer had a pet, did they grow up with dogs and cats?  If so, how did they feel about them?

Naturally, this was a curious thing.  The winemaker was asked what any of this had to do with owning and operating a successful restaurant.

“Why do you ask every applicant if they own a pet?” he was asked by the person who told me this story.  The winemaker’s answer was intriguing.

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Posted by on Aug 15, 2012 in Blog, Essays | 2 comments

The Dawn of Enlightenment and the Dusk of Superstition

Nolan Dalla Living Room

 

There was some encouraging news last week.  A series of polls was conducted in several nations.  The polls intended to measure religious faith and atheism.  The findings were published last Friday.

The bottom line is — religion is on the decline.  Or, as I prefer to think of it — enlightenment is on the rise.

That’s positive news to those of us fatigued by the insufferable influences of religion on politics and society.  How refreshing to learn that increasing numbers of people everywhere are rebuffing the archaic superstition of some giant “sky daddy,” rejecting the whimsy of a paternal heavenly dictator who sees and knows all.

If the poll numbers are to be believed, the shifts in faith (and lack thereof) are stunning.  Globally, belief in religion declined 9 percent since a similar poll was taken back in 2005.  That’s just eight years ago.  This number is based on 50,000 people who were polled in 57 different countries.

In the United States, the number of religious followers declined by 13 percent.  But that number pales in comparison to Ireland, where religiosity declined by a whopping 22 percent.  To be fair, the weakening of Irish faith may have a lot to do with recent scandals that have plagued the Catholic Church, which remains the dominant faith in Ireland.

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