Nolan Dalla

A Message to My Fellow White People

 

 

I don’t get it.

They’re STILL questioning Kamala Harris about her race.

I mean, who gives a fuck?

Oh, yeah — MAGA haters. They give a fuck. Trump. He really, really, really gives a fuck. With him, race has always been an infatuation. Many so-called “white” people give a huuuuuge fuck.

A decade ago, the mass obsession in Trumpanistan was with President Obama’s birth certificate. Now, the racial-driven phobia of modern mass delusion has devolved into questioning the presumptive Democratic nominee for president, who just so happens to be of mixed race.

Gasp! The horror!

Now, let’s flip the microscope over and upside down and turn it on ourselves: White people. Like me. Just like many of you. Prepare yourselves….get ready. Good thing we’re racially consistent all the time and “pure,” right? Good thing we “self-identify” with just one European culture, right? Good thing we don’t mix our allegiances and cross identities and try to be “something else.” Right?

The race baiters and doubt casters on the Harris race issue are white people, who — now get this, you’re not going to believe what I’m about to tell you — themselves are almost entirely of MIXED ethnic heritage. Fact is, if American white people were dogs, we’d all be classified as MUTTS. And yes, I include myself in this group. Ruff, ruff.

Strange isn’t it, my fellow white people. We never see criticism nor have to field annoying questions about *our own* racial backgrounds. We only do that to the ones who look Black. They accuse her of being a chameleon. Weird, huh? Yet. we’re all pretty much just like “Kamala Harris.” Don’t believe me?

So — you’re half-Italian and half-German? Great! You’re part Polish, Spanish, and Scottish? Wonderful! You’re a quarter Irish, a quarter Hungarian, a quarter English, and love quarter-pounders topped with Swiss cheese? Awesome! You identify as Greek but also celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Have fun! You aren’t German at all, but you love Oktoberfest? Prost! And this isn’t just a European thing. I’ve ordered Massaman Curry and Pad See Ew so many times that I’m starting to identify as Thai.

You’re a mutt. I’m a mutt. Everyone’s a mutt, mutt. Old McDonaldTrump didn’t build this American farm. Our ancestors did. Even with links mainly to Europe, we identify with *different cultures* all the time, often depending on the date and time of year. St. Patty’s Day, Oktoberfest, St. Gennaro fest. Pick an identity and stick with just one! Kamala Harris “turned Black,” says Trump, whatever that means. Why did you turn from German to Irish and then over to Italian? Make up your mind, Team Euro!

WHAT’S THE BIG FUCKING DEAL, WHITE PEOPLE???

Sadly, the MAGA crowd continues making a big issue out of Harris being of mixed ethnic heritage. But she’s just like the rest of us. She embraces it all, and has even expanded her family ties to include a white Jewish husband with historical links back to Eastern Europe, along with her beloved stepchildren. How wonderful. How perfect. How American!

Oh, and I won’t even delve into all the many surprises of DNA research, including do-it-yourself ancestry kits which have reunited relatives and even created new families of mixed ethnic heritage. Nor do I need to bring up science and spirituality, which oddly enough share some bonds about links to common ancestors. By all means, let’s force Kamala Harris into checking just ONE box on her race profile form. How dare she try to identify as more than one!

I honestly can’t believe Trumpsters are still questioning Kamala Harris’ race. Well, on second thought — I can believe it. We’ve come to expect savage personal denigration from the MAGA hate factory, which feeds on a steady diet of racism, fear, doubt, and division.

But now I do have one final thought and message for MAGA and Trump: PLEASE CONTINUE DOING THIS. Yes, keep on bringing up Harris’ race. Go ahead, attack her. Go on. You’re doing a helluva’ job. It’s working brilliantly!

Since you’ve been baiting the Vice President about her ethnic background, she’s risen steadily in national polls and continues climbing. She’s even pulled ahead as the favorite according to some global betting markets. Maybe that’s because real Americans know and understand we are a great giant melting pot. That part-Jamaican, part-Indian, quasi-Black woman is kicking your half-baked, half-witted asses. Yes — please keep it up.

It’s always the mutts who bark the loudest and bite the deepest.

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