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Posted by on Mar 14, 2017 in Blog, Essays, Rants and Raves, Travel | 2 comments

So, It Snowed Today in New York: Hello? It’s Still Winter!

 

 

So, it snowed today in Buffalo, New York.

Big fucking deal.

I suspect that it always snows in Buffalo, New York.  I think it snows in Buffalo, New York during the Fourth of July.

That’s what you get for living in Buffalo fucking New York.

Today, it also snowed in Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington.

Big fucking deal.

That’s what you get for living in Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington.

Hey, listen up.  You chose to live in the Northeast.  That’s the decision you made, a choice which encompasses all the repercussions of dealing with occasional bad weather.  And, according to my calendar, today is March 12th.  That date places us squarely in the season known as Winter.  W-I-N-T-E-R.  Spring is still more than one week away.

Okay, so let’s say it snowed 12 inches a month from now, sometime during April.  Then perhaps you can make a case for acting all surprised and going full ape mode.  But right now, it’s still wintertime.  News Flash:  It snows during the wintertime.

I just don’t get what’s the big deal about the weather.  I don’t.  Unless there’s a hurricane brewing off the Gulf Coast or a tornado has touched down in Oklahoma and people need to evacuate, I see no purpose whatsoever in covering nor discussing the weather.  Ever.  It’s a total waste of time.  There’s nothing we can do about it anyway.  So, just deal with it.  Live with it.  And if you must talk about it, do so among yourselves because of the rest of us living in other parts of the country really don’t give a shit.

This is not news.

I live in Las Vegas.  You don’t hear those of us who live in Las Vegas crowing about the scorching temperatures during the summertime, now do you?  We don’t say, “Hey, look at us — it’s 110 degrees today!”  That’s because we know it’s going to be 110 degrees in July, just about every single day.  It’s also going to be 110 every day in August.  That’s because we live in the fucking desert!  It gets hot here.  Just like it snows in the Northeast, sometimes even in mid-March.

Bingo.

You think people living in Seattle bitch about it raining 364 days a year?  Hell no!  Well, maybe they complain just a little.  But it’s never a national news story.  Same with bone-chilling temperatures in North Dakota.  You know what they call 32 degrees in Fargo in the middle of January?  A heat wave.

Nobody in North Dakota complains about cold and snow in the Winter.  That’s what bars and fireplaces were made for.  They man up.  They toughen it out.  They go on with their lives and don’t give a rat’s ass about the weather.

But all of you so-called “tough guys” living in the Northeast get a few inches of snow and all the sudden milk and bread flies off the shelves like you’re stocking a nuclear fallout shelter.  Wanna’ know something?  Tough guys don’t bitch about snow.  Tough guys don’t even notice it.

I just thought of a better use for the pejorative insult-of-all-insults during this post-election season:  Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here are way too many snowflakes.

 

2 Comments

  1. So you’re telling me that because these people made a decision to live somewhere, knowing the possible consequences, they are responsible for said consequences of that decision? Sounds like a conservative viewpoint to me.

  2. Good for you, Nolan, although you must never emigrate to the UK, where discussion of even the most piffling weather shifts is almost what defines we Brits.
    I’m even more hardline than you, though. People can take their equinox and shove it; I go with what I’ve experienced for over 50 years in the northern hemisphere: spring is April and May, summer June to September(YES, September) autumn October and November, winter everything that’s left.

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