Our Leaders are Elected by Morons
Our national leaders are elected by morons.
There — I said it. Why? Because it’s true.
Think about it. Since the dawn of the television age, every single presidential election has been decided by idiots.
No matter what year, no matter which election, no matter who the candidates are – the voter breakdown is always the same. About 45 percent of voters always vote for the Republican (no matter who it is). About 45 percent of voters always vote for the Democrat (no matter who it is). That leaves 10 percent of voters in the middle who are “undecided.”
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most powerful voting block in America — the 10 percent of voters who don’t know and don’t care. These are the jackasses who are deciding the future of our nation.
Let’s meet them, shall we?
Morons are everywhere.
Inside bowling alleys. Blathering on barstools. Playing on softball fields. Ordering hamburgers at fast food joints. Driving in the far right-hand lane and not making the right turn at busy intersections. Sitting next to you on airplanes. Shopping at Walmart. They come in all shapes and sizes and colors and ages.
Morons are often easy to identify. They don’t read books. They don’t read newspapers. They don’t watch news shows. They can’t bothered with any complex details about any issue whatsoever. For these people, everything has to be reduced to the equivalent of screaming “amen” at a church revival.
Occasionally, some news does manage to penetrate their skulls, so long as it airs on Entertainment Tonight or SportsCenter. They know more about the life of a Kardashian or the starting quarterback of their favorite football team than anyone who holds elected office. They don’t spend a single second thinking about issues, but they have an opinion on just about everything.
They’re the first to start chanting “U-S-A! U-S-A!” whenever an American athlete competes against someone from another country. They’re the first to gloat that “America is the greatest country in the world,” even though they’ve never actually traveled overseas. They’re the first to attack anyone who dares to question the conventional view of America’s role in the world, equivocating dissent with treason. They think of themselves as true patriots.
In reality, they’re phonies and frauds. And, they’re dangerous.
I have a message for all these morons who lack political conviction and who are void of anything that could possibly be construed as a personal philosophy. Listen carefully. My message is this — DON’T VOTE!
I swear. I will have more respect for you for sitting this one out rather than pretending that you really care. If you can’t spend as much time thinking about the future of your country as deciding what you’re going to order off the lunch menu at the Olive Garden, we don’t need you cluttering up the lines on election day and diluting the end results with your ignorance.
I hate voter registration drives. No wait, that’s not strong enough. I despise them. I want them STOPPED.
This time of year, registration drives are everywhere to try and motivate people to get out and vote. My question is — WHY?
Why should we encourage people with absolutely no knowledge of issues and an utter lack of interest in civic affairs to suddenly enter a voting booth and starting checking boxes of candidates they know nothing about? It’s like begging a five-year old to show up on November 6th and be an air traffic controller for a day.
Please, someone explain this to me.
Why are volunteers out there parading around in parking lots with clipboards begging disinterested people to register and vote when these people obviously lack any desire whatsover to exercise their civic responsibilities? These people haven’t bothered to vote in recent years (otherwise, their registration would automatically be renewed). Moreover, all prospective new voters (such as those who turn 18, or move in state for the first time) are given the option to register to vote when they obtain a driver’s license.
It all comes down to this: The vast majority of unregistered voters haven’t been motivated enough to get involved politically in the past. So, why do we now want them to barge into the current election cycle and cast ballots based on no knowledge whatsoever about the issues or the candidates?
Do we really want some moron who doesn’t know the name of his own congressman and senator now stepping into the voting booth and cancelling out the INFORMED votes of people who are already registered and take elections seriously? What kinds of decisions are these kinds of people going to make? I’ll tell you. They would likely make some very bad decisions and for all the wrong reasons.
This isn’t about partisanship. Even those I disagree with politically are, in fact, engaged in the process and can articulate why they support their candidate. I respect that. But do you honestly think some buffoon who’s been coaxed into registering in a grocery store parking lot and who doesn’t follow current affairs, is going to make an informed decision?
He’s likely to vote based on which television commercial he enjoyed, which candidate amused him, or something his buddy said in a bar after gulping down his seventh beer.
That’s the ticket — he’s going to make a presidential pick based on the candidate he’d “most like to have a beer with.”
As though that’s what’s most important.
Which now brings up the worst part.
The powers that be know how the game is played. They know the secret to winning elections. They know that, in order to win, they must reduce themselves, the political process, and the entire nation to the lowest common denominator.
What does this mean — the lowest common denominator?
I’ll try and explain it this way.
Let’s say there’s a stadium full of people. Someone gets on the loudspeaker and announces that everyone has just won a free dinner. The only stipulation is — everyone in the stadium must agree on what’s to be served.
A series of votes is taken. Thousands vote for steak. Thousands vote for salmon. Thousands vote for lobster. The bottom line is, no one can agree on anything. So, the meal comes down to a vote where finally, there are no objections, and the lowest common denominator prevails. The verdict? Everyone ends up eating beans and hot dogs.
That’s what political campaigns have come down to — beans and hot dogs on a silver platter – trying to appeal to and appease that last sliver of the indifferent, who perhaps by some magical last-minute Hail Mary television ad might actually be motivated enough to get off their lazy asses and go out and pull the lever for their candidate.
These are the people who will decide our future.
I repeat. PLEASE. DON’T VOTE. STAY HOME.