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Posted by on Mar 19, 2015 in Blog, Personal, World Series of Poker | 7 comments

Pre-Register Now for Your Chance to Dine With Me at the 2015 WSOP!

 

nolan-dalla-las-vegas

 

Want to avoid long lines?  Want to circumvent clamoring for a favorable spot in the pecking order?  Want to ward off the disheartening possibility of getting turned away at the 2015 World Series of Poker?  Well, here’s some helpful advice on the best way to avoid rejection and heartache:  PRE-REGISTER.

 

If your aspiration is to dine with me on some early evening between the dates of May 25th and July 16th, it’s highly recommended that you forward your request to me now, because my social and entertainment calendar will most certainly fill up to full capacity.  Imagine the despair of boarding an airline and traveling all the way from your home to Las Vegas, only to have your last-minute invitation denied because I’ve already made a commitment to someone else on that night.  Don’t let this humiliation happen to you!

PRE-REGISTER EARLY!

Planning well in advance will significantly improve odds that you might share a wine dinner with me, and if your company is sufficiently engaging enough — drinks afterward.  There are no guarantees, mind you.  Many well-screened suitors with stellar resumes in the past have grossly disappointed me by not living up to expectation and were summarily blackballed from any future dining engagements (my blacklist is a closely guarded secret).  However, I do have a few openings for fresh talent still remaining on my busy 2015 WSOP schedule for those who meet certain criteria which is as follows:

1.  Priority will be given to writers, artists, musicians, and other creative people.  I want to dine with others like me who have something interesting to say.

2.  Dinner invitations are always non-partisan.  I grant no extra points to Progressives and Socialists, especially since most are broke and seriously in debt.  I’m perfectly willing to dine out with generous Republicans and Conservatives.  Priority will be given to people of all political persuasions (except religious fanatics) who support a boycott of The Venetian and anything else associated with Sheldon Adelson.

3.  Under no circumstances will I dine together with anyone who tells bad beat poker stories.  No exceptions.  If Phil Ivey invites me out to dinner, orders a $3,000 bottle of wine, and then launches into a bad beat story, I’m bolting for the door.  Okay, I might sample the wine first, but then I’m hitting the bricks.  Bon appetit, Phil!

4.  I reserve the right to call in supporting cast and/or hero reinforcements in order to bolster any conversation that starts to lag.  If I fear you’re not engaging enough, I may very well call up a stimulant in the form of another dining guest to spice up the evening, provided your company lacks proper invigoration.  This may include pilfering a guest from another table in the restaurant.  Yes, I’ve done this in the past.  Many times!

5.  Top priority will be given to those who agree in advance to pick up the check.

 Note:  My preferred on-site restaurant at the Rio is Buzio’s (seafood) where management assures me they will stock plenty of rainbow trouts for my full six-week engagement.  Buzio’s ran out of trouts at one point last year, disappointing several of my guests and humiliating me in front of colleagues.  However, I am told this travesty will not happen again.  Be advised that NO ONE is to order my private stock of trouts unless I am present or have phoned in permission in advance to Diane.

7 Comments

  1. Nolan,

    I’m gonna have the trout so you might as well join me. If he’s out there I’ll bring Brad (he’s from my hometown and a bud) ‘Otis’ Willis to carry the convo.. I’m a conservative libertarian therefore Brad’s services will probably not be needed. Will be at the series 6/2-6/9, 6/14-6/28 and 7/5 til I make the FT,

    Hank

  2. Creative – family of cooks, so I can discuss food, arts, politics, anything but poker or music.

    We love good wine.

    not a religious fanatic

    I do loathe Adelson.

    Only agree to pick up the check if I score a FT.

    Trout is Vegas is not Trout from Colorado gold medal stream

    if you find an opening, I’m game.

  3. Hello Mr. Dalla! We have conversed via fb chat before and during the conversation, you were giving me dining advice as I am not to savvy with the restaurants in Las Vegas. I am of strong conviction that we will have a stimulating conversation as we are both writers, sports betters, and foodies. I am in my senior year in college majoring in English and American literature and would relish the opportunity to have some seafood with one of my heroes. I also have a cat!

    • wait! are cats bonus points? I can have many cats in that case. and I would never go to PF yuck.

  4. Is second place two dinners with Nollan?

  5. And for some reason there is no mechanism to edit comments so I am stuck. Feeling like a moron, or school of trouts out of water, having allowed the autocorrect to misspell Nolan on that last comment.

    I hang my head in shame.

  6. Hey Nolan,

    Count me in. I just went to Walmart and stocked up on gift cards for Olive Garden and P.F. Chang’s, so I’m willing to go to either depending on your mood that day.

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