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Posted by on Apr 16, 2016 in Blog, Essays, Personal | 13 comments

Why Does My House Smell Like Marijuana?

 

hunter s. thompson

 

Why does my house smell like marijuana?

You probably suspect I’m a pot smoker.  That’s a reasonable assumption.  Smoking pot inside my house would certainly explain the smell of marijuana lingering in my living room.

However, I do not smoke marijuana.  I do not like marijuana.  Nor do I like green eggs and ham.  I do not like them, Nolan I am.

See, marijuana just isn’t my thing.  It’s not for me.  Mind you, I’m not at all opposed to marijuana for others.  To me, marijuana is kinda’ like green eggs and ham.  I’m not going try eating green eggs and ham.  And, I’m sure as shit not going to smoke them.  But if someone else out there wants to indulge in green eggs and ham, then — be my guest.  Who am I to deny you that which you deem pleasurable?

Fact is, I want marijuana and all drugs legalized.  Marijuana.  Cocaine.  Meth.  Heroin.  Whatever hallucinagins the followers of Donald Trump are popping — legalize them all!  Everything!  Then, let Darwin’s Law to take its course.

To toke or not to take — that’s the question I stopped asking myself since my college days.  And, my personal choice ever since then have been not to toke.  Besides, I have way too many vices, already.  After another grueling football season, I can’t afford another vice.

So, now you know my background.  You must believe me when insisting I do not smoke marijuana.  Yet for reasons unexplained, over the past two days there’s been this unmistakable and overwhelmingly powerful stench of a pot smell recurring inside my home.  The odor is especially striking in mid-afternoon.

It’s most obvious inside my living room.  It smells like a drug den.  Last time I passed through the living room on the way to the kitchen, the pot stench was so powerful that my eyes crossed over.  Then, I arrived in the kitchen and wolfed down two giant bags of Doritos.  Okay, not really.  I’m making that part up.  I only ripped through one bag of Doritos, plus two Klondike bars.

Yet, there’s been no noticeable marijuana smell upstairs, nor the bedrooms, nor inside the garage.  It’s only in the living room, which connects to the office where I type all my articles, including this one.  There, I can smell it now!

This mystery calls for an investigation.  Since it’s not me, I suspected that the neighbors might be smoking marijuana.  However, I have not smelled the odor outside, no in the front or back yard.  Where’s it coming from?

How’s it possible for a marijuana cloud to linger inside the house for an extended period of time with no apparent source from outside?  Could someone living inside the Dalla Household secretly be a junkie?

Again, let’s examine the evidence and take a closer look at the suspects.  Three people live inside our house.  (1) I do not smoke.  (2) Marieta does not smoke.  Like me, she’s never even tried the herb.  (3) That leaves Marieta’s mother as the only remaining suspect.  She’s now in her mid-80’s and has lived with us for 15 years.  Could mom be toking away in hiding behind closed doors?  Probably not.  She only speaks Romanian.  So, I have a hard time believing mom could negotiate with a supplier in English.  Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and agree that mom’s not the junkie.

There’s no apparent source of a pot smell from neighbors.  No one living in the house smokes dope.  What other explanation can there be?  I wonder — could a giant marijuana cloud be sucked in through a vent and then become trapped inside the home?  We’ve all heard of greenhouse gases.  Can pot smoke do the same thing?  It’s been windy here in Las Vegas these past few days.  Would it be possible for marijuana smoke to travel a block (or more) away and get swept into a closed chamber through a vent?  What other explanation is there?  Sorry, I can’t think of one.  Perhaps you can.

As far as using marijuana goes, perhaps there is an upside.  Other writers have told me their writing improves when they smoke marijuana.  I can’t comment upon that as a herbal inspiration, since I’ve never tried it.  However, given the persistent odor inside my house right now and over these past few days, I have to wonder if I could now pass a drug test.

Alas, could inhaling marijuana smoke be a lifeline to better writing and bursts of creativity?  I don’t know.  It’s hard to think clearly when I’m surrounded by the stench of marijuana.

Indeed, life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

For life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow!  What a Ride!”

A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.

So, we shall let the reader answer this question for himself:  Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives… and to the “good life”, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.

 

___________

Writer’s Note:  Some source material is taken from the writings of Hunter S. Thompson.

 

 

13 Comments

  1. Perhaps you have a “neural irregularity” in your olfactory bulb. The first question to ask here is, does Marieta smell it?

    • Nolan Replies: She had the same reaction. Although she wasn’t as familiar with the marijuana smell I was was, the aroma was unmistakable. From the Facebook posts, the best explanation might be a dead animal in a vent or pipe somewhere.

      — Nolan

  2. Lets burn a few this series!

  3. One of your cat is humping a skunk in the attic and they meet at the same time on the afternoons

    Daaaaaaaa

    It happens all the time.

  4. 3 choices: Neighbors are growing, Dr Pauly’s in town, or there’s a dead skunk in the area.
    Didn’t Nevada pass medicinal recently?

  5. I have the same problem. I love in the detached house in England with two elderly naybours either side yet this small somehow keeps comng and going inside my room. I have mired my entire room around changes the bedding sparyed fabreeze yet it never seems to leave. It’s so horrible especially when having people over

  6. I can safely eliminate marijuana, cigarette, cigar or food odors from homes with my two step fogging and ozone treatment. Please check me at http://www.OzonePureAir.com also check me on yelp under Ozone Pure Air.

  7. I have had this same issue in 3 apartments that were brand new built no one lived in before me and they all stink of pot. I have narrowed it down to the air exchange. When the unit is off I dont get the stink when its on it happens more often than not.
    It drives me nuts cause I dont smoke and hate the smell of it, hate the idea of sitting in the stink, hate the thought of it being on my clothing….

  8. We have this smell in our tv room. We started noticing it when we got a new cable box. Could it be wires? The smell comes and goes. Very strange. There is nobody smoking in my house I have small children.

  9. Sometimes when my A/C turns on I can smell a skunky or marijuana smell… And we don’t smoke. Makes me wonder if the new upstairs tenants do! Please help

    • Everyone….that smell is mold and it’s extremely dangerous! I’m going through this right now! Have your landlord pay for a professional air quality test and do NOT stay there until and unless the problem can be eradicated. I love your writing, but this is no joke!!

  10. I have just noticed the same smell so strong and i called my daughter to make sure my head wasn’t away I have never smelled it before but tonight its awful and wont go even after opening the window . I live in a detached house and my smoke alarm has gone of two times in the last two days for no reason . I cant get over the smell I have been around people in my younger days who smoked this stuff . I will never forget the awful smell nothing else smells like this stuff. I dont know what to think its making me feel freaked out .

  11. I have leather sofas and for some reason they started to smell like stank weed. They are about 6 years old and the smell started about a year ago. It comes and goes. Smell your leather funiture, if you have any. Sometimes it gives off a skunky weed smell.

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