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Posted by on Dec 25, 2015 in Blog, Personal, Rants and Raves | 12 comments

Here’s What Happened When I Went to Buy a MacBook Pro Off Craigslist

 

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I know.  I shouldn’t have used Craig’s List.  Been burned before.

But the asking price of the MacBook Pro supposedly in “like new condition” reduced down to just $600 under the bold headline “Must Sell Today” in the computers section appeared to be a bargain.  In good shape, MacBook Pros usually fetch around $1,000.  Brand new, they can run a couple of grand — which I don’t have laying around right now since it’s near the end of football season.  Playoffs are coming up and money is my tool.

Last week, I started reading posts for used laptops.  I’ve blasted through (and broken) about a dozen laptops over the past five years.  I’ve ruined only one this year.  Anyway, one can never have enough reliable laptops, especially if you spend much of your life online as I do.  Moreover, I’ve been wanting to convert over to a Mac for quite a while.  Owning a MacBook Pro is like having the Lexus of computers beneath your fingertips, and I’m both narcissistic and insecure enough to admit that I want a better, faster, and more expensive toy than my neighbors.  Hey, I like to feel superior because I am superior.

The ad read — “no low ballers.”  Well, I like playing deuce-to-seven on occasion, but also figure the seller isn’t talking poker and is trying to ward off cheapskates who want to bargain.  “Price:  $600 FIRM.”

I decided to text the guy, and he shot back an immediate reply:  “It’s available.  When do you want to see it?”

Here’s where the jousting began.  I’ve cut and pasted the entire exchange.  Not a word has been altered:

 

ME:  I can meet you around 6 today.  If the laptop is in good shape, I will give you $600 cash.  Will that work?

SELLER:  Yes, I can be at Smith’s inside at Starbucks at Hulapai and Charleston.  Can you be there at 6?

ME:  Yes.

[A tiny alarm bell goes off when the seller of a nice laptop wants to meet in a public place, at a grocery store.  If he was confident in his product, and trustworthy, why would be not want to sell from his home?]

SELLER:  I’ll be there at 6.

ME:  Great.  See you there.

[So, I enjoy the afternoon and then head over to the Smith’s location at 5:45.  It’s a 10-minute drive, so I arrive promptly at 5:55, a few minutes before the scheduled meeting time.  I wait 15 minutes before the texting begins.]

SELLER:  (at 6:10)  Hey are we going to meet?

ME:  Yes.  I’m here already.  Where are you?

SELLER:  I’m still at home.  I’ll get the Mac and drive over.

ME:  No problem — are you closeby?

SELLER:  It’s about 20 minute drive.

ME:  So, you want me to sit here for another 20 minutes?  I told you I would be here at 6.  You said you would be here at 6 — note your text above.

SELLER:  I wasn’t sure you were coming.

ME:  I said I WAS coming, didn’t I?  We agreed on 6.  It’s 6.  I’m HERE.

(silence for 3 minutes)

ME:  Forget it.  You are wasting my time.

SELLER:  Chill out dude.  I’ll be right over.

ME:  Okay. come over, but I won’t be here.  If you can’t even follow simple instructions amnd (sic) agreement how the hell can I trust you know how to take care of an expensive laptop?

SELLER:  Are you serious?

ME:  Come to Smith’s now to see if I’m serious.  You can watch my rear bumper get smaller and smaller.  It will amaze you.

SELLER:  Look, I’m getting the Mac now and can be there as fast as I can.

ME:  Too late.  You missed the boat, pal.  It sailed in the ocean.

SELLER:  I can’t believe this.

ME:  Believe it.

SELLER:  You need serious help.

ME:  Please.  Come watch my bumper get smaller and smaller.  Like a magic trick.

SELLER:  I’m out.

ME:  Buy a wristwatch, pal.  You’ve wasted enough of my fucking time.

SELLER:  Get help.  You’re ridiculous.

ME:  By the way, thanks — big time.

SELLER:  Thanks for what?

ME:  For the blog article.

SELLER:  WTF are you talking agout?  (sic)

ME:  Check out nolandalla.com, tomorrow — happy holidays.

SELLER:  You were not serious.  I cant believe you get all supset (sic) because I;m running a little late.

ME:  Thanks again.  I saved $600 from someone who can’t tell fucking time, and also got a column idea.  Check it out, man.  Happy New Year!

SELLER:  Asshole

 

12 Comments

  1. More more! especially the follow-up. ❗️

  2. ROFLMAO. I like how he switched from “didn’t know you were coming” to “because I’m running a little late”

  3. all this article proved is that you’re an impatient little baby that can’t spare 20 minutes for a bargain. confirming the meeting time is VERY common.

    • Wonder who wrote this, LOL! Confirming the meeting time might be common, but not after the allotted tine douche!!

    • I assume you are the one still stuck with a stolen/damaged laptop. Don’t worry, you’ll find a sucker soon.

      Perhaps if you had called to confirm twenty minutes before the agreed upon time, you wouldn’t have had issues of integrity and common decency to deal with.

  4. Hahaha. There he is. Why didn’t you confirmed it Anon? 😀

  5. What a douche!! Good job Nolan! That guy had no idea who he was dealing with! 👍🏻

  6. I enjoyed your blog, but regarding your first note about the tiny alarm bell:

    I don’t know how much experience you have buying or selling things on craigslist, but I think in this day and age you will find very few people who will invite any stranger into their home to make any kind of transaction. Why would anyone take that chance?

    Written on my CL-purchased MacBook Air. Nicely maintained and loaded with upgrades, by an editor who needed to upgrade. And comfortably purchased in a California mall food court.

    • I also transact most CL transactions in public places, buying or selling is no time to be stuck in your house with someone who wants to either rob you, or do you harm. Walmart parking lots or Police Stations make good choices.

  7. I’ve stopped using CL because assholes like that were constantly not showing up. Fuck that.

  8. wow, i mean the seller should have confirmed, but the buyer act like a spoiled brat, immature, and agree with the seller–you need help, or some serious anger management. it is very rare and silly to meet at your own home when selling electronics like that. bye nolicia

  9. Far out. I love Craigslist. I make a living buying and selling on there. Your story reminds me of a cl transaction my buddy was involved in that led to him acquiring a fancy laptop. Sat in his highly modified dodge Cummins pickup guzzling his second man can of 211 in the Shari’s parking lot around 6pm waiting for a guy to show up with a Sony VAIO that was worth way more then his asking price. When the guy shows up my buddy jumps out of his truck wreaking of bum piss beer and proceeds to beat the guy up even more on the price of the laptop. He had already got the guy to knock off 100 just thru texting. Now in person my buddy really lets him have it. Fueled by the ingestion of cheap shitty high octane brew, my buddy tells the guy how broke he is and only has like 200. His cover story for being broke is the fact that all his money goes to diapers for his kids. If he has to spend more then 200 then his kids won’t have diapers till the 1st. That’s when he gets paid. The date of this event was the 12th lol. The guy shakes his head and mubbles some nonsense about the agreement already being made for 300. And that was a steal of a deal considering its market value was in the 7-800 range. But the guy needed money for whatever his reason was. Perhaps he was a degenerate gambler and lost his rent money two nights ago at some dirty dinghy purple parrot. Either way he begrudgingly took my buddy’s 200 and handed over the laptop. Before he could even explain a few details about the laptop,my buddy was already hoping into his 20k+ dodge Cummins and rolling coal in the guys face as he left the parking lot. My buddy is in his late 20’s and lives at home. No kids. No diapers to buy. Just rc cars,trucks,helicopters and what ever other gizmo or gadget or gun related stuff he feels like purchasing. I got a good laugh out of what had taken place one spring early evening at the local Shari’s parking lot.

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