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Posted by on Feb 5, 2015 in Blog, Travel | 0 comments

Is This the Future of Economy Air Travel?

 

people-in-phone-booth

 

It was only a matter of time before someone came up with the idea of the world’s first “standing airline.” That’s right. They can’t even call this the cheap seats.

 

Instead of fetal-positioning ourselves onto tiny cramped cushions the size of a chessboard for hours at a time while sucking on a bag of peanuts the size of a pacifier, passengers flying economy class might soon be standing upright during an entire flight.

You think flying’s an exhausting experience now?  Wait until you’ve been tethered vertically and chained into a speeding air dungeon.  Imagine your legs starting to tingle and then the pilot announcing, “we apologize, but takeoff will be delayed another 45 minutes.”  Flying on what amounts to a crowded city bus is going to make a ticket on Spirit seem like first-class on Singapore Airlines.

A discount carrier in China appears ready to become the world’s first airline which will essentially strap all coach passengers into a straightjacket for the entire duration of the flight.  But this idea actually originated elsewhere.  Apparently, an airline based in Ireland (Ryan Air) considered “standing class” for a short time a few years ago.  But regulators intervened and rejected the notion.  Look for China not to care nearly as much about these little things like consumer comfort and safety.

READ:  CHINA SPRING AIRLINES LOBBIES FOR VERTICLE SEATS

Fortunately, such a thing can’t happen here.  Can it?  Americans have a formidable first line of defense against the notion of vertical seating.  And what line defense is that?  Simple.  We’re way too fat.  There’s no chance that most of us could fit into seats shaped like saddles.  Our asses are just too big.

So, my advice for passengers who want to protect our flying space is this.  Keep on eating.  Never mind dieting and ordering the salad with low-calorie dressing.  Cram your belly with intestinal fast food garbage loaded with plenty of trans fats and high-fructose corn syrup.  Hmm, maybe White Castle isn’t such a bad thing, after all.

standing-seats-on-airline

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