Excuse me. I have a big favor to ask. Can someone stop by the bank and grab me another stack of deposit slips? I seem to be out at the moment.
I’m burning through deposit slips like postage stamps.
It’s gotten so ridiculous, that the bank teller knows me on a first name basis. Our conversation usually goes something like this:
Teller: Hello, Mr. Dalla. It’s so nice to see you again.
Me: I’m here to make another deposit.
Teller: Another one, Mr. Dalla? My, oh my. You sure are successful at whatever you do. All I ever see you doing is depositing loads of cash.
Me: I know. It gets to be quite a chore. Having to leave my home several times a week just to make a trip to the bank to make a big fat deposit. It’s not easy being me.
Teller: Oh, you poor thing. You must be famished. It must be exhausting.
Me: Yes, it is.
Teller: Well, you know the usual drill, Mr. Dalla. You’ll need to do another CTR. We’ll have to order another bundle of Currency Transaction Reports if you continue doing your banking with us.
Me: You better order a box. There’s two months left in football season.
Here’s the best part of about winning. I’m giving away my picks for free. Such amazing generosity. Hey, where else can you click your mouse and win a house?
Try and digest these numbers: Twenty-one games over .500. 21! Sixty percent return on the starting bankroll. 60 percent! And we haven’t even hit the playoffs yet! At this rate, they should be working on the blueprints for a monument to me.
Meanwhile, let’s check out how all the touts are doing. Robbers and thieves. Are any of their bankrolls up 60 percent at this point in the season? Plus, how much are those jackals charging for their picks? Anyone who pays for picks deserves to be taken to the cleaners. DO NOT EVER PAY ANYONE FOR PICKS!
What about all the “experts” in the Hilton handicapping contest? Let’s talk about them for a minute. Isn’t the overall consensus hitting something like 40 percent? They are the best fade tool in Las Vegas. Shame!
And what about the handicappers in the Las Vegas Review-Journal? One of them is picking 43 percent winners. AND HE’S BEING PAID TO WRITE A COLUMN! Where’s my freakin’ column?
Think about it. There really should be a movement to put me in charge of the national treasury. Make me the Secretary of the Treasury or Federal Reserve Chairman, or whatever. Let me handle our national dept. I’d “teaser wheel” the national economy into a surplus. The Chinese would be begging to eat peanuts out of my hand.
But enough about me. Let’s move on to NFL Week 13.
(SEE PLAYS BELOW)
NOLAN DALLA: 2013 NFL SEASON RECORD
79 WINS — 58 LOSSES — 1 PUSHES
LAST WEEK’S RESULTS — 17 WINS 6 LOSSES 1 PUSH (+$4,482)
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
CURRENT BANKROLL: $16,067.
NET GAIN/LOSS: plus $6,067.
BEST BETS: 13–15–1
THIS WEEK’S PLAYS: ($1,910 in action)
Detroit at Philadelphia UNDER 54 ($550 to win $500) <<<BEST BET>>>
Teaser: Baltimore -.5 / Oakland +8.5 ($550 to win $500)
Teaser: Baltimore -.5 / NY Jets +3.5 ($550 to win $500)
Team Total: Tennessee OVER 17.5 -120 ($360 to win $300)
Eagles have allowed 21 points or less in eight straight games. They’ve very quietly become one of the better defenses in the NFC. Meanwhile, these are the kinds of games where Detroit often has trouble. Recall the Lions visit to Pittsburgh a few weeks ago when the offense was stifled and they lost. Add in colder winter conditions and a very high total, and this appears to be a solid UNDER play.
Meanwhile, I’m doing a teaser middle on the Oakland-NY Jets game. I don’t expect a lot of points to be scored, especially with both teams suffering serious quarterback problems. We also pick up lots of key numbers — from NY Jets winning by 8 all the way to Oakland winning by 3. Anything in between is a win for both sides, when combined with what should be sure home win for the Ravens, who are now playing with some intensity. Ravens are in playoff mode playing a must win, versus Viking team that is switching quarterbacks yet again. Tease Baltimore down from 6.5 to a half point and try and freeroll the middle on the Oakland-NY Jets game.
Titans should be in good position to put up points in Denver. Bronco homes games tend to fly over the total, due to the best offense in football combined with some complacency on defense. Tennessee playing well at the moment as a playoff contender and certainly capable of hitting 20+.
More deposit slips please!
LAST WEEK’S RESULTS: (1-2 on Thanksgiving Day games)
New England -1.5 with Tennessee +10 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Indianapolis -2 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Denver (pick) — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Kansas City +12 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Tampa +13 — $473 to win $430 — loser
New England -1.5 with Carolina -1 — $473 to win $430 <<<BEST BET>>> — winner
New England -1.5 with Chicago +6 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Minnesota + 6 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Jacksonville +13 — $473 to win $430 <<<BEST BET>>> — winner
New England -1.5 with Cleveland -1 — $473 to win $430 — loser
New England -1.5 with Arizona +9 — $473 to win $430 <<<BEST BET>>> — winner
New England -1.5 with Philadelphia +3 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Miami +8.5 — $473 to win $430 <<<BEST BET>>> — winner
New England -1.5 with NY Jets +3.5 — $473 to win $430 — loser
New England -1.5 with Atlanta +9.5 — $473 to win $430 (bad number) — winner
New England -1.5 with Buffalo +2.5 — $473 to win $430 (bad number) — loser
New England -1.5 with St. Louis +13 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with San Francisco -1 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Cincinnati +6 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with San Diego +6 — $473 to win $430 — loser
New England -1.5 with NY Giants +5 — $473 to win $430 — winner
New England -1.5 with Washington +7 — $473 to win $430 — push
New England -1.5 with New Orleans +12 — $473 to win $430 — loser
New England -1.5 with Seattle (pick) — $473 to win $430 — winner
PENDING NFL FUTURES WAGERS
DALLAS COWBOYS UNDER 8.5 WINS (-125) —– Wagering $750 to win $600 in serious trouble
NEW YORK GIANTS OVER 9 WINS (-105) —– Wagering $1,050 to win $1,000 almost certainly dead, best we can do is push
GREEN BAY PACKERS UNDER 10.5 WINS (-115) —– Wagering $575 to win $500 winner!
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS UNDER 7.5 WINS (+105) *BEST BET* —– Wagering $1,500 to win $1,575 winner!
NEW ORLEANS OVER 9 WINS (-165) —– Wagering $1,650 to win $1,000 almost certain to win, just need one more win
ST. LOUIS RAMS OVER 7.5 WINS (-110) —– Wagering $440 to win $400 in serious trouble
BALTIMORE RAVENS OVER 8.5 WINS (-110) —– Wagering $1,100 to win $1,000 needs help, but possible
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS OVER 8.5 WINS (-110) —– Wagering $880 to win $800 almost certain to win, need one more win
OAKLAND RAIDERS UNDER 5.5 (-180) — Wagering $1,800 to win $1,000 could go either way
NOLAN DALLA: 2012 FINAL NFL SEASON RECORD
98 WINS – 87 LOSSES – 6 PUSHES —– (+ 34.6 units / 1 unit = $100)
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
ENDING BANKROLL: $13,460.
NET GAIN: +$3,460
BEST BETS OF THE WEEK: 14-7-0Read More