Breaking News: Deranged Fuck Dies
In case you missed the news, a sick fuck named Sun Myung Moon died today.
Moon was best known not only as the creator of the Unification Church, but for claiming to the entire world that he is/was the messiah.
People, I am not making this up.
That’s right — some crazy fuck living over in South Korea actually woke up one day when he was in his 20s and thought he was on par with Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, and Donald Trump. Seems this Korean guy was pretty powerful, or at least was persuasive as hell, since he ended up with so many adoring followers. Estimates are that Moon had about seven million believers in his line of bullshit.
Moon’s millions of fantatics became better known as “Moonies,” an appropriate sticker since just about all of them might as well have been living on the moon. The accounts of what this beast did to his devotees are well-publicized, so I won’t launch into a lengthy tirade here – as appetizing at that propsect might be. However, all one must do to measure the degree of brainwashing that this deranged man had on disciples is to recall the horrific mass marriages that he and his church arranged.
That’s right — arranged.
In a ritual right out of the Middle Ages, the Unification Church held mass “weddings” with stadiums full of followers, joined in matrimony by a sick fuck standing at the podium. Many of the young people who came to the ritual to be married at the instruction of this wacko church had never met the person they were about to marry. You can imagine the pain and misery of such a medieval practice. Again, this is all documented.
A few years ago, this man wed 360,000 couples in one mass ceremony. That’s not a typo. 360,000! Imagine getting stuck with that fucking bill. What did they do for a wedding cake — invade fucking China?
How’d you like to be the guy who owns the tux rental shop down the street from the stadium? That guy must have made a killing!
So, might there be any possibility that this self-described “messiah” really was who he says? You know — the Korean commoner born when his nation was under Japanese rule, the man burned through two wives, the man who evaded his taxes, the man who served time in prison, the man with a child out of wedlock, and the man who is alleged to have built his vast empire by getting his followers to fork over all their money to the church? Out of six billion people on the planet, this was God’s “chosen one?”
If Moon is who he claims to be, then I’m in some serious trouble. Or, at least my soul is in serious trouble. It’s going to end up looking like a charred sirloin at the Outback Steakhouse. But hey, I’ll take my chances. Make mine medium-rare, Rev. Moon.
If all this sounds mean spirted, I do not mean it to be so. But when some joker claims to be “God” and then wrecks the lives of millions of susceptible people with his preposterous teachings about the world and who he is, such a death does not desere respect nor sanctity. Instead, this deranged fuck’s life and mass charade should be exposed for what it is.
Rev. Sun Myung Moon, may you not rest in peace. May all the lies you have propagated upon millions be buried forever.